A cafe, a dream, and a home

I’m currently sitting in a small cafe on the corner of a side street in Paris. I’m drinking some chocolat chaud and eating a tart. I just finished a fascinating conversation with some friends about the Parisian art scene of the 1920s and am about to pick up the book of John Keats poems that I’ve been reading. You should come join me, it’s a beautiful scene. You only have to find a way in to my daydreams.

In reality I’m in my home in a small town in Idaho. A far cry from the beautiful streets of Paris.I know, I know, everyone talks about being in Paris. But I really have been there. I really have sat in a cafe drinking hot chocolate. I really do talk with friends about the 1920s Parisian art/literature scene and read poetry by Keats. I actually enjoy all these things. And sometimes when I’m home alone I start to day dream about combining all these things in to one happy moment. I dream about being back in Paris (or London) as an adult with more knowledge and different interests then when I was 17 and didn’t understand how lucky I was.

I have this day dream often, and usually I come out of it feeling sad and depressed. What in the world am I doing in Idaho when I could be in Paris? Why am I reading about Julia Child’s experience eating and living there when I could go live it myself? Why don’t I just pack my bags and move? Then I get a text from my husband. A simple ‘I love you!’ Then I remember why I live here, in the Siberia of America (Southeastern Idaho gets cold). I love my husband. I love living close enough to both our families that we can visit them often and join in on important celebrations. I’m grateful he has a good job and we live in a 4 bedroom house not in a tiny studio apartment. There may not be enough museums and theatres so close I could see something new every night, but I have kind neighbors. We have friends who come to BBQs and an old moody cat who likes to snuggle with me while I read.

No, this may not be Paris, but it is home. A beautiful place I share with the man I love. A place where we’ll someday welcome children. The place that I truly belong. Someday I’ll visit Paris again and I will live out this daydream. Then I will come home and dream of the next place I should go .

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Self-motivation – why can’t we be friends?

Self-motivation has never been my thing. If I set a goal or deadline for myself and I’m the only one to hold myself accountable it’s not likely to get done. However, if someone else expects me to have something done at a certain time it’s accomplished about 99% of the time. Maybe that’s why I liked school so much, they set the deadlines for me. Since writing a blog takes a good amount of self-motivation we can all see why I haven’t written in two months.

But I’m determined to turn over a new leaf! To reverse years of a bad personality trait and become better! To…ok I’m our of determined comments, but you get the point. I’m going to publish something at least once a week. I need to for my own sanity and happiness and to help promote my etsy shop, which is really half the point of this blog (but shhh, don’t tell anyone).

So here’s to turning over a new leaf…or at least to taking the first step to finding the leaf to turn.

Learning to Enjoy LIfe

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emmerson

This is the statement I try to live by. I spent all of high school and college trying to figure out who I am. Somewhere a midstĀ all the studying and planning I think I figured it out. But every once in a while I need a reminder of who it is that I am and what makes me happy.

Maybe I’m crazy or maybe I’ve just watched the movie ‘Julie & Julia‘ too many times this week (I have an unhealthy obsession with Paris and food. I also love New York. So can you blame me for loving the movie?), but this is how I’m going to remind myself of who I am. This is where I want to document the things that help me enjoy life and being myself.